So a bit about me. I have a weird thing about handshakes. I believe you can tell a lot about a person based on the type of handshake they have. I had the opportunity to work with lots of youth over the years. My goal in working with them was to make sure that they became positive members of society. Not my only goal but an important one. So as youth came into the program one of the most important things I did first was to shake their hands. I'll be honest here And say that I purposely crushed many a hand. Now I think I can say I have never physically hurt any of the kids. Well except for that one older boy who wanted to wrestle with me. I took him down in front of his parents (with their permission) and managed to hit his head on the lamp table. Totally an accident and I was a little worried because as a good friend said "one good crack to the head and you got yourself a mentally Challenged individual. ". So our friend actually said retard but Anne said that I can't say retard so here is me not saying retard. Well I did not hurt him that badly. He only had a small cut on his head. It was only a little blood. I mean he was totally fine. I didn't make him any worse than he already was. I think. Anyway I always made a point to shake their hands a bit strong. Why you say. Because I believe that a handshake says a lot about who you are?And I want them to make a good impression.
So there are many kinds of handshakes.
First is the dead fish shake. Basically it is when you grab a hand that is totally limp. No muscle tone. You squeeze their hand and there is nothing. Like holding a dead fish. Gross!!!I also put the shake only my fingertips shake as part of this. I might be wrong but giving only fingers for a handshake went out of style a long time ago. We are past kissing hands as a form of greeting? Right? So use your entire hand! When I get a handshake like this I think, "ewe, and now I have to wash my hands." It tells me that your not confident or you are bored and I am not interesting enough to you. I prefer to think that you are not a confident person rather than me not being interesting.
Okay handshake number 2 is the I'm trying but either I am shy and can't look you in the eyes or I'm embarrassed or no one has ever shown me how to properly shake a hand. It is just a bit better than the dead fish shake. At least you managed to put your entire hand into the shake. Now add more pressure and look me in the eyes.
Number 3 is the over the top shake. I have to say that I am guilty of crushing a hand or two in my life, but it was only ever done out of love. This is the shake that makes people not want to shake your hand because they don't want to visit the ER. Perhaps your over confident or its your best friend and that's how you treat your friends or in my case out of love for my fellow man, just remember not every one likes this. There is a time and place for this type of handshake. If I ever broke fingers or hands I apologize but I did it for your own good.
The last type of handshake is the right one. It happens when you look the person in the eyes, extend your hand, firmly grasp the other hand and give enough pressure to let them know you're there. Now remember don't make it a staring contest and for heavens sake smile.
So why is this important to me? It's important because I think making a good impression is important. I had the privilege of teaching teenagers for the past 10 years. Truly some of my favorite memories. Whenever I greeted any of the youth I always gave a good handshake. I would grasp their hand, look them in the eyes and say hi, how are you, and I am happy to see you. If they ever gave a mediocre shake I might have on occasion squoze, (I know squoze is not a word but I really like it) their hands a bit hard. The reaction I got was always positive. Every time I saw them they always put their best effort into shaking hands. I like to think that from the one simple effort I could see confidence grow, create a beginning of a trusting relationship, and teach them a little bit about respectful behavior.
Some may say that I put too much into a simple handshake and read too much into it, but I like to think that the kids felt good about coming and actually made a bit of a game out of trying to squeeze my hand till all feeling departs and my fingers are permanently fused together.
It's good that I have ALS because I really can't shake hands anymore. I now prefer to fist bump. When I can't do a fist bump I will move on to the head butt. If you don't like the head butt idea a good pat on my shoulder works or a kiss on the cheek. If by chance you miss my butt slaps or the occasional goose remember ( only sporting events got the slaps and never to minors) I can't actually move my hands so you will have to help me.
