Top Ten ways I am perfect for Holloween

#10.  I can drool on command at anytime.  And I can drool without commands as well.

#9. I walk with a limp that makes it seem like I have a peg leg.  I have trouble catching my kids at anything now because they always know when I am coming to check on them.

#8.  I slur many of my words  which freaks out the little kids. And older kids. And me.  If I get pulled over by a cop I am sure to be asked to do a sobriety test. Actually I don't think I freak them out as much as they just don't know how to take me.  The little kids look at me with blank expressions on their faces.

#7.  I can watch Charlie Brown and the great pumpkin all by myself.  I actually hate scary movies and dont sleep well when I watch them.  I watched 10 minutes of constantine on TV last night and promptly had to turn it off because it was a bit too scary. (I do like Sleepy Hollow though).

#6.  I walk very slowly which is kindof creepy if I am following you. 

#5.  My arms only come up to my shoulders now making my movements look like a t-rex.  To some it may seem I look  a little zombie like.

#4.  I think having a motorized wheelchair makes costumes way more exciting.  Think of it,  I can be the horse with night sitting on the back.  I can be a get-away car.  I can be a runaway stage coach. Oh the possibilities.

#3.I have a feeding tube that I can always pull out that will scare the dickens out of just about anyone.  Again maybe not scary. Just wierd. 

#2.  I don't do much cleaning anymore (I make my kids do it) so I am sure to spot more cobwebs around the house.

#1. When I yell I can't help but spit a lot.  I am sure i look quite insane when I do that.  Probably the only reason the kids still get chores done.