What we need

As I go through my day I am always reminded about how little I truly need.  Before ALS I always felt like I needed so many things.  I wanted the big TV, I wanted the nice couch, I wanted big table that would fit 12 people around it (because I like to party), and I wanted to go to the nice restaurants (Frankly I still want that).  I wanted a lot of things.  

Thankfully I have Anne.  She and I worked well together.  Every time I wanted something over 20 bucks I would always go through her and see what she thought about it.  Usually around that time I would reconsider what I really needed, realize what I wanted was a bad idea and come to the conclusion that I could wait a while longer.  All this without even having to talk to Anne sometimes.

Now my needs are definitely different today than they were a year ago.  I don''t get around as much as I used to and I am constantly learning how to do things differently.  Things change.  And I have always believed a healthy dose of change is important to everyone. As I go through my day I am amazed at what seems important in life.  Well amazed may be a strong word.  I actually always knew what I needed but now I can focus on what is really important and work on that.  

I know what your thinking, family is what is important and I would agree with you to a small degree.  I feel that family is one of the most important things, however if we only focus on our family we are missing a lot of what life is truly about.

What I really need is to give service.  I know that sounds corny but really as I examine the most important times in my life it wasn't about the job, the house, the car that made any difference.  It was about what I did with my time.  It as about what I did at work, who I drove around in my car and what I used my house for. 

I had some really good role models with this when I was young.  My mom and dad showed me what service was all about.  My dad brought me all over the place helping and serving members of our church on a monthly basis (usually against my will but I am okay with that) and my mom didn't know how to go through a day without helping someone or everyone around her.  It was just life, it was how things were done.  It wasn't complicated, we never expected anything in return, we were just grateful to have friends that we could share our time with and we usually got more out of it than the person being served.  

So let me say that service is a good thing.  There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon that simply states, "When you are in the service of your fellow beings, you are only in the service of your God."  I love that scripture because really all I need is to serve.  Anne sometimes complains that I am too much of a pleaser as I try to make everyone around me happy.  I can get into trouble at times with that and need to learn some discretion in what I commit myself to but all in all I think that service is fantastic.  

My days now are different than they were before and again I find that what I need is totally different.  I am learning new ways to move around, and new ways to serve.  I am also learning to be served.  About 15 years ago my grandfather passed away and my family went back to NJ for the funeral.  While there my mom who lived in Utah at the time went into work mode and just made things happen. The gals at church were a little miffed at her. "Clara you can't do all this yourself!!" is what they said.  When my mom assured them that she could could they said "You don't understand.  We need to serve you right now.  You are our friend and we need to help!"  

For me it was an amazingly powerful lesson that we need to learn to serve with everything we have but we also need to be humble enough to let other's serve you.

Now I don't bring this up because I want or need anything.  In fact we are doing fine and when we are in need of something we can't provide or need help with we are getting good at asking (well sometimes we are).  What I have found that really makes the difference for me starts with my family of course.  My llittle girls are very sweet and throughout the day they will come up to me, give me a kiss on the cheek and say "Hi".  I find that little bit of kindness is about all I need to make it through the day.  Now if you have a beard or need to shave please attempt to refrain from giving me a kiss on the cheek, or really even to much bodily contact (I may fall down).  But I have found that all I truly need is what my little girls give me on a daily basis.  Oh that and a good foot rub.